What is Patriarchy?
How does it function?
Who does it impact?
Patriarchy is a system of control built upon a fiction that posits wealthy, white men as inherently dominant and deserving of dominion. Like other systems of oppression (capitalism, white supremacy, etc.), it functions by relentless delusion and division, propagating lies of scarcity, superiority, and control, and separating us from one another and ourselves.
We know full well that under patriarchy women and gender non-conforming folks suffer various forms of violence (physical, sexual, emotional), erasure, silencing, expectations to appease, the devaluation of paid and unpaid labor, etc. However, we want to make visible that this system hurts even the men whom it claims to benefit.
Patriarchy promises power to men, but in practice, offers it up to a select few. Since most men will not hold rule over land and state, many accept power over women, children, and the household. But this semblance of control comes at a hefty cost, compromising connection, intimacy, and relationship with self and others. Men are made to feel like they are the winners while they are cheated of brotherhood, full expression, alignment with their own emotions and moral compasses.
Patriarchy hangs on by perpetuating the myth that men are reaping its rewards. But under this system of domination, everyone is suffering, even the wealthy, white man at the top, anesthetized and disconnected from his humanity.
This system robs us of our wholeness. In order to fulfill tidy roles of dominance or submission based on our gender identities, patriarchy demands that we give up our complexity as people who embody masculine and feminine. Trans and gender non-conforming folks tend to be punished and erased under this system that doesn’t recognize the diversity of their identities. Women are expected to perform traditionally feminine traits: to be submissive, dependent, emotional, nurturing, empathetic, etc. Men are expected to perform traditionally masculine traits: to be dominant, strong, authoritative, cavalier, stoic, aloof, etc. And the traditional feminine qualities are devalued, while the traditional masculine characteristics are lifted up. Asked to fill these narrow roles of woman or man, we cut ourselves off from our full expression of self.
“Asked to give up the true self in order to realize the patriarchal ideal, boys learn self- betrayal early and are rewarded for these acts of soul murder” - bell hooks
Our ability to topple the culprit requires that we acknowledge our collective pain and respond together: we need EVERYONE to take up the work to dismantle patriarchy. This is a call for all of us to step into our collective power, to set ourselves and one another free.